Hopeless

Each Sunday morning I jump in my car and drive the short distance to a little church. It's a church for the broken, beaten, and needy. There are open arms here for those who are hurting. As a result, my little classroom of Sunday school kiddos is filled with hurting, broken hearts in need of Jesus.
One little guy is a tough one. His eight year old body enters the room with an attitude twice his age. He slouches in, kicks a chair, grunts a derogatory remark, crosses his arms, and glares. He needs Jesus. Everything within my body is frustrated with his stance. I want to tell him just exactly what I think. I want to speak in my big old teacher voice and let him know he has to show me respect. Please understand, he does have much correction from me, but should my first response is that of "Listen here, Buddy!"?

Then I remember.

Mommy is in prison. Daddy overdosed on drugs. He's living with Grandma. He's mad. It's not fair. So, I pray. I ask Jesus to give me an extra dose of his love and compassion today. I teach the story of Jesus healing the ten lepers. I ask questions. This little one knows the answer to every one. His tough guy attitude isn’t working any more. Jesus, please heal Jamie’s heart! Lord, may he see your love in my life.
Monday comes. The alarm goes off. It’s another day with my boys and girls in the classroom. Nineteen precious souls. Lord, help me to have patience and love for them today. We talk about reputation, motives, and self-control. Hearts are open. Spirits are receptive. Thank you Jesus.

No, all is not hopeless.

Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Quiet Moments

There I was surrounded by aged cobwebs, spiders, dead bugs and the smell of a musty old home. My attitude could have been sour. I was alone on a deserted campground, cleaning. But if you know me, I was on vacation. Time away, worshipful music in my ear, nothing is more refreshing. I had time to think.

I left the door of the little house open as I cleaned, hoping to catch and evening breeze. It began to rain. Not a July downpour, but a soft gentle, caressing sort of shower. As I watched the raindrops glide down and listened to the soft pitter patter on the roof, my mind wandered over the past year of my life. I was reminded once again of God’s faithfulness. There have been times of beating rains and splitting lighting. These crisis moments bring me continually to His feet, but gentle rain. Faithfully day in and day out He is working on each of us, transforming us into His image. Just as this type of rain seeps deep into the soil, He patiently helps concepts to “sink down” into our ears. I am forever grateful. So bring on the gentle rain, storms, or lightening. Whatever, Lord. I trust that you.

As I was working tonight, I listened to some music that I haven’t had the opportunity to listen to for some time. The following songs are from Mark Harris. God had done so much for me. I can’t wait to be at home with Him.

I Will See Jesus

When the river of my days
Finally finds the sea
And the tide of my brief time
Surrenders to eternity

And another shallow stream
Is swallowed by the deep
As at last the journey ends
There is one sweet certainty

I will see Jesus
I will see Jesus
All I’ve lived for
All I’ve loved for
Finally where I belong
I will see Jesus
When I get home

All the many mysteries
Hidden from these eyes
Suddenly will be revealed
Standing under heaven’s skies

There no shadows will remain
From this long dark night
Finally I will be free
Standing there in perfect light

CHORUS

My trials all behind me
My heart will break no more
My wanderings will be over
I will rest upon that shore



The Half

I look back on a thousand roads I wandered down
And just as many dreams I chased but never found
From where I stand I see the way You’ve held my heart
The times You closed a door or left a light on in the dark

And for every broken path
For every storm held back
I shake my head in wonder

I don’t know the half
Of what You have for me
What You’re holding back
That You don’t let me see
You give me everything I need
And more than I can ask
I can’t help but be amazed
And I don’t even know the half

The God who whispered life into an empty space
He’s prepared for us an even better place
I hear about the mansions and the golden streets
But I still can’t imagine all that heaven holds for me

Cause even when I dream
It’s still beyond my grasp
To try and comprehend it

You cover me with wings of grace
Hold me in your sweet embrace
When it comes to who you are
I know it’s just a taste

Agape Love

I’ve seen them before. His skin is bronze and wrinkled. Long white sleeves are pushed to the elbows. A bucket swings beside him. Sand darkens around each footprint left behind. He is closest to the mighty waves. Today, beside him socks are pulled to the knees. Hands offer to help assist with fishing paraphernalia. The likeness of the faces is apparent, his son. Beside the son walks a young lady. Soft features grace her face as she offers words of encouragement and support.

But, as you know, I have viewed part of this previously. Same man, the one lugging the bucket. Same footprints, yet different companions. This other young man claimed the same physical features, yet different. His skin was marked by tattoos, face hardened from I know not what. Yet animated speech had emitted from him as he went on about his life. Beside him had trudged a young woman who was the proud owner of a protective wall that could be sensed a mile away.

Two different pictures with the same man. I don’t know their life story, but as I sat watching the waves wash away the current footprints, I thought about my Papa. My Heavenly Father who loves us where we are and requires us to move forward. Yet, he delights in variety. I’m grateful for His agape love!

In Brokenness You Shine

When life becomes a shattered dream
That's slipping through my trembling hands
I need to know that You are near
To know You see each falling tear
When there is no one else who understands

When I can't find the words to speak
You hear the pain in each heart beat
Before I even call to You
In my deepest hour of need
That's when You come and pour Your mercy on me

Your beauty shines
Your love surrounds
Where cries of brokenness are found bring hope alive
Help me believe
And trust You one more time
In brokenness You shine
In brokenness You shine

Let comfort be a living thing
A river flowing from my grief
Where thirsty souls can drink their fill
And find in You their heart's release
And through my sorrow show Your freedom and hope

How could I know when others said
A word or two then walked away
That you, the Man of Sorrows
Would come near to stay
You'll always stay

I want to see
Your beauty one more time
In brokenness You shine
In brokenness You shine

Words by Steve Green and Doug McKelvey
Music by Bernie Herms

One day at a time.....a beautiful walk

This hymn speaks it better than I can...

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.

I wrote this blog some time ago....I'm just getting around to posting it. I hope your day has been a wonderful, relaxing day of drawing closer to Him.

It was beautiful today. The Floridian sun nearly sparkled as a left my little abode. Sunday school was delightful, church was even better. It has been a good day with God. This past week was a little more challenging. Good, but challenging. I’m teaching the college class on Monday nights for 3 hours. Then this past Tuesday night I was asked to speak at a Women of Worth Tea. Wednesday evening was our annual church meeting; Thursday was the final day of preparation for report cards to go home on Friday. Added to all of this, was the delightful experience of Spirit Week! Yes, I wore my giant top hat with the large purple flower. I now am the proud owner of a pink and gray tie. I have paraded down Gomez Avenue repeatedly wearing red and white striped knee socks. Whew! It was a crazy week!

I thought you, dear, faithful, reader might enjoy ‘hearing’ my little devotional. My dear friend Julia helped me to brainstorm. Thank you, friend! Our theme was ‘Out Your Spout.’

At the end of a long, gravel road in central Illinois you will find a small little home. During the winter, smoke curls from the chimney. This is the home of my grandparents. I remember, as a little girl, visiting grandma and grandpa. They would welcome us into the home and I would see the teapot sitting in its permanent place on the back of the stove. The water would be turned on and before long, we would hear the loud whistle, calling us to the table. Grandpa would have his cup of coffee and Grandma sometimes tea.

As Christian women what comes out of our mouths is vastly important. We are a picture of Jesus to a lost and dying world, but also to our sister, right here at the table with us, and that sister who couldn’t make it tonight.
I couldn’t help but think of the little song, ‘I’m a Little Teapot.’ As an elementary teacher, I can’t stay too serious for too long. ;)

Let’s begin with the first phrase of the song…I’m a little teapot short and stout. We’ll skip over the short and stout part, instead let’s look at I’m a little teapot and ask ourselves the question…who am I? Well first of all we must begin with the fact that you are valuable to God. Our pastor has been talking about our value before God. (Psalm 139:1-18) After realizing our value before Him we must then begin the process of knowing ourselves. It is so easy to deceive ourselves. My prayer is like that of Psalm 139:24. ‘Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.’ Once we have a clear picture of ourselves, things are not always pretty, but thankfully God doesn’t leave us without help.

Back to our little song…Here is my handle, here is my spout. God has given us tools to overcome. We have His word. This gives a clear picture of ourselves and a clear picture of God. Through reading His word we can overcome. He has also given us dear friends. We, as women, have the ability to develop close bonds with our sisters. We can sharpen each other and questions each other. This will draw us closer to Him. He has also given us the ability to prepare ahead of time. We don’t know what pressures with come in life, but we can go through things in our minds and prepare ourselves mentally.

When I get all steamed up…Pressures and trials are going to come. What is on the inside will come out. Friends may betray us, there could be a loss of job, a loss of a loved one, etc.

Hear me shout…What is going to come out of our lives? Will be respond by tearing down our brothers or sisters? Will respond in jealousy, bitterness, anger, hatred? OR Will we respond out of love for our Lord and trust in Him?

Tip me over and pour me out…Our goal must be to empty ourselves completely and ask Him to fill our vessel with Himself. We can then be a precious aroma to Him and pour out for those around us.

Christmas and such...

Blogging is something that I haven’t taken time to update lately. Sorry readers, I think I need to develop a schedule to update here. Well, since November, many things have occurred.

Christmas

I had a wonderful time at home. My family is very traditional and this Christmas was the same, a time of reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, yummy/sticky cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, the ‘game’ at the Ryder Christmas, the Christmas story and donut making at the Mills Christmas, ect. I like tradition. It is comfortable. It has a nostalgic quality of bringing back the past. Peacefulness exudes from tradition.

It was so enjoyable to spend time with friends. I was affirmed, challenged, and reprimanded through our conversations. I miss you all. Thank you for pushing me to grow in my relationship with Jesus.

My immediate family is wonderful. I’m grateful for a wonderful time spent with them. Those times when we laugh so hard that we can barely breathe, when we cry together, when we wrestle with the future, the past, and revel in the present are precious and formative.

Back to School

Well, I’m back in sunny Florida again. It seems like life took a tiny breath and we’ve started again. My class is still wonderful. We’re growing and growing. We’ve been discussing temptation and desire recently.

I’m also teaching my first college class this semester. Although we’ve only had one class, I’m enjoying it. I’m excited about this opportunity!

Thinking
I’m continually amazed at God’s patience with me. I’m amazed that He continues to work on me, pulling away Joana and making me into what He desires.

Isn’t it interesting that you learn so much when you are teaching others? This has been revealed to me in a new way recently. Oh, I’m learning about history, science, and the other academic subjects in our room, but I’m also learning lessons that were presented to me through dear friends, as I share with others.

How is it that we allow so much into our lives without questioning where it is coming from? Is there a philosophy being presented in what I’m watching, listening to, or reading that is not Biblical? I’m realizing more and more the importance of questioning.

Well, for know I’ll go….lesson plans are calling my name….